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Adult Children of Divorced Parents -- Making Your Marriage Work
by Beverly Rodgers and Tom Rodgers © 2002.
(Resource Publications: San Jose, CA)
[Answer 11 of 15 questions correctly to receive 7 hours of Continuing Education credit].

 

Chapter 1 -- Introduction (p. 1-8)
1. According to researchers Maggie Gallagher and Linda White, for couples in a bad marriage who decided not to divorce, five years later
a. their marriages were worse.
b. they had already divorced.
c. their marriages were no better.
d. their marriages were happier.

Chapter 1: The Wounding of America Through Divorce (p. 9-23)

2. Which is TRUE concerning the effects of divorce on children?
a. Fewer children from divorced families attend college.
b. Stepdaughters are six times more likely to be sexually abused than biological daughters.
c. Adult children of divorced parents fear their own marriage will fail.
d. all of the above.

Chapter 2: Awareness -- Bevís Story (p. 25-32)

3. At the end of the chapter, the reader is encouraged to
a. write the story of their parentsí divorce and how it affected them.
b. make contact with their parents and hold them accountable for the divorce.
c. forgive their parents for the mistakes they made.
d. write a letter to their parents expressing their feelings about the divorce.

Chapter 4: The Inability-to-Trust Wound (p. 41-53)

4. A man whose parents divorced because his father had an affair will often lack trust in his own wifeís faithfulness when she has given him no reason to doubt her. This is because
a. men from divorced families tend to pick poor partners.
b. society as a whole is becoming less faithful.
c. his brain stem is triggering painful memories of his fatherís affair from years ago.
d. he projects his own secretive, flirtatious behavior onto his wife and acts as though she is guilty of the same behavior.

5. The best way to reprogram trauma from childhood is through
a. desensitization.
b. conversation.
c. replication.
d. visualization.

Chapter 5: The Fear Wound (p. 55-66)

6. In some families, there is an unhealthy bond between a parent and a child in which the childís needs are disregarded in order to meet the parentís needs. Dr. Patricia Love calls this unhealthy bond
a. co-dependency.
b. emotional incest.
c. abuse.
d. role reversal.

7. The ability to act in a healthy manner, no matter how you feel, is called
a. internalizing.
b. maximizing.
c. intentionality.
d. pulverizing.

Chapter 6: The Insecurity Wound (p. 67-77)

8. As a wife, Bev, learned that her ďcontrollingĒ behavior was
a. good because it helped her maintain high expectations and standards.
b. bad because it made Tom feel abused and dominated.
c. good because it helped to keep order and avert financial distress.
d. bad because it made Tom feel dismissed, unimportant, and inadequate.

Chapter 7: The Ability-to-Communicate Wound (p. 79-92)

9. Robert Lewis, author of
Raising a Modern-Day Knight, says that men who are raised without fathers
a. have suppressed rage.
b. become work-a-holics.
c. are unreliable.
d. avoid conflict.

10. The
Digging Deeper exercise promotes
a. identifying what behaviors my spouse does that triggers my anger.
b. seeing a similarity between my current feelings and what I felt when my parents divorced.
c. new behavior that helps to heal my spouseís wounds from his or her parentsí divorce.
d. all of the above.

Chapter 8: Social Structure Wounds (p. 93-108)

11. Long-term married couples who have happy marriages say that the single most important ingredient in their marriage is
a. children.
b. friendship.
c. sexual fulfillment.
d. common values.

Chapter 9: Healing Through Problem Solving (p. 109-121)

12. The best way to get your spouse to change behavior is
a. to patiently wait for him or her to anticipate your needs.
b. to address his or her character flaws.
c. to ask him or her to make that change.
d. to do something for him or her.

13. Often, a spouse will doubt that his or her partnerís positive behavior change will stay that way. Therefore, it is helpful for them to learn that
a. they are correct; if their partner does not have the right attitude, the change is not genuine.
b. their partner will soon be able to read their mind and correctly guess ttheir expectations without having to be asked.
c. behavior change comes first; attitude change comes second.
d. they are right; most positive behavior change is short-lived and then reverts back to the old behavior. Itís a sad reality but true, especially of husbands. You just have to accept it.

Chapter 10: Healing Through Forgiveness (p. 123-137)

14. In order for Bev to forgive her parents, Bev had to
a. admit how much she hated them.
b. find the good in their damaging behavior.
c. find compassionate explanations for her motherís physical abuse.
d. see her parents as deserving forgiveness.

Chapter 11: Critics, Questions, and Comments (p. 139-153)

15. For those who decide their marriages are miserable and ask if they should stay married for the sake of the children,
a. research shows that the negative effects of divorce on children are much greater than the negative effects from marital discord.
b. they need to work harder to improve their marriage in order to prevent the long-term damage divorce will have on their children.
c. more marital resources are available today to help develop a healthy marriage.
d. all of the above.