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Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage by Nancy C. Anderson © 2004. (Kregel Publications: Grand Rapids, MI) [124 pages].
[Answer 11 of 15 questions correctly to receive 5 hours of Continuing Education credit.]
NOTE: Visit author's website at JoyfulMarriage.blogspot.com

Chapter One: Betrayal (p. 17-21)
1. Which change(s) in behavior did Nancy exhibit as an indication that she might be having an affair?
a. working longer hours
b. wearing a different style of clothes
c. comparing her husband to other men
d. all of the above

Chapter Two: Confession (p. 22-30)

2. When Nancy told her parents she was going to file divorce papers, her father said
a. that he understood how she felt and they would offer whatever support she needed.
b. that sometimes these things just happen and there is little you can do about them.
c. “No, you’re not!” Then he told her she was responsible for at least half of the problems in her marriage.
d. that it was too bad her husband was such a jerk and was unwilling to change.

Chapter Three -- Restoration (p. 31-39)

3. Nancy ended her affair with Jake by
a. meeting him one last time and telling him face-to-face.
b. calling him on the phone and telling him it was over while her husband was listening.
c. filing a restraining order against Jake with the police department.
d. writing him a final love letter telling him all the wonderful memories she would cherish.

4. By forgiving Nancy, Ron was essentially saying to her that
a. she deserved to be pardoned for her adultery because he almost did the same thing to her.
b. he was never going to use her adultery as a weapon against her.
c. he would never need to talk about her betrayal again.
d. he knew she really didn’t mean to betray him.

Chapter Four : Hedges? (p. 43-52)

        Hearing: listening and speaking with patience and understanding.
        Encouraging: helping each other.
        Dating: keeping it fresh and fun.
        Guarding: agreeing on your boundaries and enforcing them.
        Educating: becoming an expert on your mate.
        Satisfying: meeting each other’s needs.
 

 

       The author compares marriage to the Biblical image of a vineyard
       (Mark 12:1) that needs to be protected by hedges. Hedges are
       behaviors which prevent infidelity by keeping the marriage spiritually
       strong and intellectually interesting.
 

5. Most failed marriages are ruined by
a. adultery.
b. alcoholism and abuse.
c. financial mismanagement.
d. neglect and criticism.

6. How did the author reduce her criticism of her husband?
a. She was inspired by Scripture to be a wise woman who builds up her house instead of a foolish woman who pulls it down (Proverbs 14:1)
b. She asked God to help her put a guard over her mouth so she would choose her words carefully.
c. She use Philippians 4:8 as a guide for what she should say.
d. all of the above.

Chapter Five: Hearing (p. 53-64)
7. A wife wanted her husband to start helping clean up the kitchen after dinner. This way they could get the children to bed at a decent hour and still have time for each other. She told him how important this was her (a “ten” on a scale from one to ten) and asked him if he could begin helping tonight. This type of communication is
a. honest and effective.
b. nagging and critical.
c. loaded with too much detail.
d. lacking humor.

Chapter Six: Encouraging (p. 65-73)

8. If a husband thinks his wife wants to have sex every time she touches him, the wife should
a. touch him more, especially in public places.
b. go ahead and have sex.
c. touch him less.
d. tell him to stop thinking so much about sex.

Chapter Seven: Dating (p. 74-85)

9. If your marriage has become apathetic, how should you and your spouse restore lost feelings for one another?
a. Spending some time apart should help you miss one another.
b. Start by behaving in simple, loving ways toward each other (courtesies and compliments). Over time, you will like each other more.
c. Try to resolve the big problems first. This gives you confidence that your marriage will succeed.
d. Like most couples, you probably won’t be able to restore lost feelings. So just realistically accept this and be content with a platonic friendship.

10. Kate’s husband exhibited which of the following signs that he might be having an affair?
a. He began working longer hours.
b. He made love to his wife without an emotional connection.
c. He dyed his hair.
d. all of the above.

Chapter Eight: Guarding (p. 86-97)

11. At what point did the author say that her relationship with a co-worker (Jake) crossed the line from innocent to dangerous?
a. when they laughed at the same jokes.
b. when they noticed they liked the same kind of music.
c. when they sat together in the lunchroom.
d. when his leg made contact with her leg and she didn’t pull away.

12. The author approves of all the following workplace behaviors EXCEPT FOR _____.
a. not riding alone in a car with the opposite sex.
b. talking about your spouse only in a positive way.
c. hugging a business associate of the opposite sex.
d. not making any lingering eye contact.

13. What solution does the author recommend if Internet pornography is a problem?
a. Keep the computer, but discontinue Internet access.
b. Just pray over Scripture, such as Matthew 5:29, “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.”
c. Get rid of the computer.
d. Adjust the allowable content using a supervisor password kept by your spouse.

Chapter Nine: Educating (p. 98-108)
14. A husband and wife can ease their marital difficulties by studying 4 subjects: (1) the differences between men and women, (2) their different personalities, (3) their different family backgrounds, and (4) their own individual differences. As a helpful resource, the author recommended all of the following books EXCEPT
a. Men Are Like Waffles and Women Are Like Spaghetti
    by Bill and Pam Farrell.
b. Personality Plus for Couples: Understanding Yourself and the One You
    Love by Florence Littaver.
c. Dated Jekyll, Married Hyde: Or, Whatever Happened to Prince Charming
    by Laura Jensen Walker.
d. Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He
    Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Chapter Ten: Satisfying (p. 109-118)
15. Most men have affairs because of unmet physical, sexual needs; most women have affairs because of unsatisfied emotional needs for affection and tenderness. Scientific research confirms that men’s need for sexual release is based upon hormonal needs (testosterone) and that men naturally want sexual release ________. The author said on the days she and her husband make love, he is more mellow and encouraging about things that normally bother him. The longer he goes without release, the more grumpy he becomes.
a. every day.
b. every 3 days.
c. once each week.
d. twice each month.