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The Five Love Languages of Teenagers -- The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively
by Dr. Gary Chapman
© 2010.
(Northfield: Chicago, IL). All rights reserved. [288 p]
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive
13 hours of Continuing Education credit.]

 

Chapter One -- Understanding Today’s Teenagers (p. 17-28)
1. Which is NOT true about contemporary teenagers?
a. Sometimes when a teenager is being “argumentative” he is simply developing his mental reasoning skills.
b. Most teens dream of someday being married and raising a family.
c. Teenagers today are living in a post-Christian world without sexual rules.
d. none of the above.

Chapter Two -- The Key: Love from Parents (p. 29-40)
2. It is a simple reality that in order for a teen to feel connected and thus loved by his parents,
a. the teen must demonstrate some level of responsibility.
b. the teen must show respect to his parents.
c. they must spend time together.
d. they must have a lot of common interests.

Chapter Three -- Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation (p. 41-58)
3. After three counseling sessions with the author, Brad’s parents decided to change their parenting style to “words of affirmation.” To make this happen, they did all of the following EXCEPT
a. Stopped using words that were critical, condemning, and demeaning.
b. Expressed to Brad their deep regret for all the mistakes they had made.
c. Told Brad they had loved him no matter what he did.
d. Told Brad which of their rules were non-negotiable.

4. In teaching parents to use words of affirmation, which advice did the author NOT give?
a. When praising your teen, be specific, such as “Thanks for putting your dirty clothes in the hamper.”
b. If you can’t praise results, praise efforts.
c. Praise your teen in front of the whole family.
d. Praise your teen in front of your teen’s friends.

Chapter Four -- Love Language #2: Physical Touch (p. 59-74)
5. In which of the following situations should a parent NOT touch his teenager?
a. When the teen comes home and announces success in a major accomplishment.
b. When the teen is discouraged about his or her physical development.
c. When the teen is angry.
d. When a father’s teenage daughter is physically becoming more like a woman.

Chapter Five -- Love Language #3: Quality Time (p. 75-96)
6. Which is TRUE?
a. Any prolonged activity that parents do with their teenager is considered quality time.
b. The best way for parents to have quality conversations with their teen is to listen sympathetically, understanding their teen’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.
c. It is acceptable to interrupt your teenager when he or she is saying something that is untrue.
d. If teenagers spend a lot of time with their friends, it means they don’t have much of a desire to spend time with their parents.

Chapter Six -- Love Language #4: Acts of Service (p. 97-110)
7. How can parents avoid developing resentment over the many routine acts of service (preparing meals, laundry, cleaning, car rides, etc.) they do for their teenagers?
a. They can meditate on Jesus Christ’s expressed purpose for coming to earth: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matthew 20:28)
b. They can discern when their teenager is trying to use parental acts of service as a manipulation to get what the teenager wants, and then choose to not be manipulated.
c. They can teach their teenagers the necessary skills to do their own chores.
d. All of the above.

Chapter Seven -- Love Language #5: Gifts (p. 111-128)
8. Which of the following gifts does the author recommend parents give their teenager?
a. A gift that is given unconditionally, given with ceremony, accompanied by affirming words, physical touch, and, when possible, done in the presence of other family members.
b. A car, when the teenager turns 16 years of age.
c. Money, even when it is not given for a specific purpose.
d. A surprise gift (in which the parents have no idea whether or not the teen will appreciate it).

Chapter Eight -- Discover Your Teen’s Primary Love Language (p. 129-144)
9. When Patsy’s son, Ted, was a child, his primary love language was words of affirmation. After Ted turned 14, he asked his Mom to stop saying things like, “You’re the greatest. I’m so proud of you. You’re so smart. You’re a handsome guy.” What is the best explanation why Ted no longer enjoyed hearing his Mother’s usual words of affirmation?
a. Ted’s love language had changed from words of affirmation to something else.
b. Ted’s hormonal development was causing moodiness which made it difficult for him to really appreciate anything.
c. Ted associated his Mother’s kind words with his childhood. Ted was trying to become independent and didn’t want to be treated as a child. His mother simply had to learn to use more adult words such as, “I appreciate you taking out the garbage.”
d. As Ted got older, he detected insincerity in his Mother’s words, concluding that she told him those nice things just to get him to do what she wanted him to do.

10. A teenager complains to her parents:
“You don’t ever help me with my homework anymore. That’s why I make poor grades…If you would take me to my school football games, I could make some friends and wouldn’t have to sit around the house all the time…I didn’t clean behind my desk because you weren’t here to help me move it…If you would fix my bicycle I could ride it to school.”
Their teenager’s primary love language is

a. words of affirmation.
b. acts of service.
c. quality time.
d. gifts.

Chapter Nine -- Love and Anger: PART ONE -- Breaking Destructive Patterns (p. 145-156)
11. In the section describing strategies for breaking destructive patterns of anger, what one thing did all the strategies have in common?
a. Restating your point of view so perhaps the person you are talking to will understand you this time.
b. Removing yourself from the situation until you have the time to cool off.
c. Appealing to your listener to be reasonable, and to listen without interrupting.
d. Counting to 100.

Chapter Ten -- Love and Anger -- PART TWO: Forging Constructive Paths (p. 157-172)
12. What is the first and foremost thing parents should do if their teen explodes with anger?
a. Caution the teen about behaving destructively and disrespectfully.
b. Tell the teen to calm down.
c. Give one warning that if the teen’s explosive behavior doesn’t stop you will enforce a consequence, such as loss of privileges.
d. Work hard to find out (listen to) what their teen perceived to be unfair, stupid, or inhumane, even if the teen’s perception is distorted.

13. Which of the following did the author NOT recommend a parent say to his teen who keeps anger inside?
a. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
b. “I want you to know that I am available. I am willing to listen when you want to talk.”
c. “In the past, when you have come to me with your concerns, I have often been very insensitive and have cut you off. I realize now that was very immature on my part, and I’m sorry for the way I made you feel.”
d. “I want you to know that when you’re angry with me in the future, I will try to listen and respect your feelings.”

Chapter Eleven -- Love and the Desire for Independence (p. 173-190)
14. Which is NOT a normal behavioral pattern for teenagers’ need for independence?
a. Not wanting to be seen in public with their parents, and questioning their parents’ religious beliefs.
b. Having their own room, their own car, their own dress code, and their own music.
c. Not saying much when their parents ask them a question, and choosing friends over family.
d. None of the above.

Chapter Twelve -- Love and the Need for Responsibility (p. 191-212)
15. Which was NOT one of the author’s rules for parental consequences for teenagers?
a. Consequences should be determined before a violation occurs.
b. Consequences should be administered with love.
c. Consequences should be administered consistently.
d. Consequences should satisfy parental anger.

16. What should parents do when they discover that their teenager is not completing homework assignments?
a. They should do nothing. Let the teenager experience the natural consequences of poor grades to motivate the teen to do better.
b. The parents should require their teen to make up the homework assignments on Saturday and Sunday, losing that free time.
c. They should check their teen’s homework assignments every school night.
d. They should go with their teen every school day before classes begin and watch their teen hand in his assignments to each teacher.

17. In the author’s opinion, parents should never give their teenager
a. a credit card.
b. a regular allowance.
c. a curfew.
d. regular household opportunities.

Chapter Thirteen -- Loving When Your Teen Fails (p. 213-228)
(no questions)

Chapter Fourteen -- The Single Parent Family, Teenagers, and The Love Languages (p. 229-244)
18. It is common in single-parent families for teenagers to eventually unload their feelings of hurt, anger, and rejection on the custodial parent, the parent they live with, rather than the non-custodial parent. This makes the custodial parent feel quite unappreciated and disrespected. In the author’s opinion, how should the custodial parent, let’s say the mother, initially respond to her teenager’s negative outpouring?
a. She should create an atmosphere for her teen to share more of these bad feelings. If the mother listens sympathetically, she can help promote her teen’s emotional healing.
b. She should explain to the teen how divorce tends to create unrealistic expectations in teens such as, “I wish I could have my family back together again.” And that adjusting these expectations to normal ones will help the teen to feel better.
c. She should try to build up her teen’s self-esteem by telling the teen positive things.
d. She should gently and honestly explain to her teen the mistakes made by the teen’s father, so the teen will have a more complete picture.

19. In a study done of non-custodial fathers, in which most of the fathers thought they were fulfilling their obligations, 75% of the teenagers had the impression that they did not mean very much to their fathers. Why was this?
a. The teens said their fathers talked too negatively about their mothers (the father’s ex-wives).
b. The teens said that the fathers were poor listeners.
c. The teens said their fathers made them do chores in their fathers’ homes where the teen did not live.
d. The teens said that their fathers were physically present but not emotionally present.

Chapter Fifteen -- The Blended Family, Teenagers, and The Love Languages (p. 245-258)
20. Research shows that the number one cause for divorce in second marriages in
a. infidelity
b. financial problems
c. conflicts over child-rearing
d. communication difficulties