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The Peacemaker -- A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande © 2004 (Baker Books: Grand Rapids, MI) [318 pages]
[Answer 18 of 25 questions correctly to receive 14 hours of Continuing Education credit.]

 

Chapter 1: Conflict Provides Opportunities (p. 17-42)
1. We should never forget that we stand guilty of _____ in God’s eyes when we harbor anger or contempt in our hearts toward others.
a. violence
b. murder
c. bitterness
d. hypocrisy

2. Christians who overlook an offense are
a. afraid of confrontation.
b. probably going to blow up later.
c. exercising a form of forgiveness.
d. in need of better communication skills.

3. How can conflict make a person more like Jesus Christ?
a. by behaving with love and forgiveness toward someone who provokes you.
b. by being patient when someone fails to act promptly.
c. by being faithful to someone who isn’t changing.
d. all of the above

Chapter 2: Live at Peace (p. 43-58)

4. The night before He was crucified, Jesus prayed for His disciples to be “one” just as He was “one” with the Father (John 17:11, 20-23). What did He mean by this?
a. that they would be joyful.
b. that they would agree on important matters.
c. that His followers would get along with one another.
d. that His followers would avoids disputes and disagreements.

5. Ephesians 4:3 exhorts every Christian to “make every effort” or “be diligent” in preserving the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. The Greek word SPOUDAZO for “make every effort” means to exert oneself in the same way a gladiator might “make every effort” to stay alive in the Coliseum. This means that peacemaking for Christians

a. might result in the death of a friendship.
b. will be like fighting one battle after another.
c. requires determination and hard work.
d. is primarily a defensive effort of learning how to respond to unkind people.

6. The main reason why Christians should make every effort to resolve their legal disputes through church mediation and not inside a courtroom is because
a. costly litigation is an unwise use of financial resources.
b. lawsuits tend to reflect poorly on Christ, whose purpose was to promote loving behavior rather than anger and bitterness.
c. our flawed legal system is populated with greedy lawyers and corrupt judges.
d. laws today are too much influenced by relativism and not absolute truth.

Chapter 3: Trust in the Lord and Do Good (p. 59-73)

7. What enabled many Bible characters such as Joseph, David, and Paul to trust God during great suffering?
a. God told them the reasons why they were suffering.
b. They continued to believe that God was sovereign and good, even when they lacked an explanation for their suffering.
c. They had very few doubts, questions, or fears; these were courageous, simple people who did what they told.
d. They realized that trusting God in one difficulty resulted in less suffering later.

Chapter 4: Is This Really Worth Fighting Over? (p. 79-99)

8. If you are having difficulty overlooking minor offenses because you are oversensitive or dwelling on the wrong that was done to you, which of the following is TRUE?
a. According to Philippians 4:8, the way to overlook a minor offense is to shift your thinking from the negative to the positive qualities of the offending person. Although this is not easy to do, it results in seeing the minor offense for what it really is: insignificant in light of the person’s good qualities.
b. “Rejoicing in the Lord” requires a certain frame of mind. It is unrealistic to do this immediately after an offense.
c. Being gentle in the midst of a conflict sounds good, but results in denial or suppression of one’s righteous indignation, which is the proper response for someone who recognizes their worth and dignity as a person made in the image of God.
d. It is appropriate to require another person to show you respect and dignity. A minor offense is a perfect opportunity for asserting these rights.

9. Ted, a Christian, restored his relationship with his supervisor by
a. working overtime and becoming “employee of the month.”
b. writing a letter of recommendation to her boss.
c. dropping a lawsuit and apologizing for his disrespectful behavior.
d. helping her to obtain a promotion.

Chapter 5: Conflict Starts in the Heart (p. 100-116)

10. How can I really know when a God-given desire has turned into a sinful demand (something I think I deserve and must have in order to be happy or fulfilled)?
a. Every desire eventually becomes a demand.
b. Only desires that become regular patterns of behavior are called demands.
c. Since most of our desires are mixed in with selfish motives, it is rare that we are able to sort out the good from the bad.
d. When a desire remains unfulfilled, if I act with resentment instead of patience, then it has become a demand.

11. What is the best way to reduce the influence of idols (anything that has become a consuming demand that we must have to be fulfilled)?
a. develop a simplified lifestyle that relies less upon materialism and technology.
b. maintain close ties only with disciplined Christians who are zealous in their pursuit of God.
c. eliminate worldly influences and submerge yourself in an exclusively Christian culture of Christian books, movies, music, etc.
d. Love God more every day by reading the Bible, talking to Him, praising Him, and giving Him thanks.

Chapter 6: Confession Brings Freedom (p. 117-137)

12. Repentance is best characterized by
a. a deep feeling of remorse and sorrow for your actions.
b. a change in your thinking and conduct.
c. apologizing to someone you offended.
d. knowing that every sin against someone is really a sin against God.

13. The most common cause of conflict is
a. failing to treat others as we would want them to treat us (the Golden Rule).
b. speaking unkindly to others.
c. sexual immorality and lack of self-control.
d. love of money and material possessions.

14. A proper confession is
a. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
b. “I was wrong for what I said to you. Would you forgive me?”
c. “I know I’m not much of a husband.”
d. “I’m sorry I lost my temper; I haven’t slept well lately.”

Chapter 7: Just Between the Two of You (p. 143-161)

15. According to the Bible, which is TRUE about restoration?
a. Restoration should always be done with boldness and directness.
b. Having a face-to-face meeting with the offending person is always the first step.
c. The intensity of our approach should be adapted to the person and the urgency of the situation.
d. Jesus always confronted people directly.

16. If your Christian brother has something against you,
a. you do not need to talk to him about it if you believe you have done nothing wrong.
b. you should be eager to point out his error if you believe you have done nothing wrong.
c. you should approach him tentatively, giving him the benefit of the doubt.
d. your obligation is to approach him once. If unsuccessful, don’t go back.

Chapter 8: Speak the Truth in Love (p. 162-184)

17. Which is TRUE about charitable judgments?
a. Out of love for God we choose to believe the best about others.
b. Charitable judgments are unrealistic. You cannot possibly believe the best about someone after they have hurt you terribly.
c. Believing the best about others is seen as a weakness. It makes you vulnerable to being hurt again.
d. A strong and determined approach is more effective with people. They view this as confidence and self-assurance. Gentleness is too often mistaken for timidity.

18. In planning what to say, it would NOT be helpful to
a. admit your own sins and weaknesses.
b. use words that describe your feelings.
c. describe the effect the problem is having on you and others.
d. use “you” statements.

Chapter 9: Take One or Two Others Along (p. 185-200)

19. A pastor was asked to intercede for a wife whose husband was leaving her for another woman. The pastor
a. decided not to intervene, saying he didn’t want to scare the husband away from attending church.
b. eventually went and talked to the husband, telling him he would be removed from church membership unless he changed his mind.
c. referred the wife to a skilled Christian counselor, preferring not to get involved.
d. was immediately successful in confronting the husband, who repented right away.

20. “Appendix D” discusses when it is appropriate for one Christian to take another Christian to court (p. 279-286). The author believes that the prohibition of one Christian suing another as stated in I Corinthians 6:1-8 applies to
a. disputes between both Christians and non-Christians.
b. anyone who professes to be a believing Christian.
c. Christians who commit crimes (i.e. sexual abuse) as well as sins (i.e. holding a grudge).
d. Christians who are members in good standing of a Christian church that is faithful to Scripture.

Chapter 10: Forgive as God Forgave You (p. 204-224)

21. To forgive someone means
a. to restore some good feeling for a person who wronged you.
b. to not punish someone for a wrong that was done to you.
c. to patiently understand that sometimes people just can’t help the way they behave. We all fail at times.
d. to release someone from all the consequences of their sin.

22. If you are having difficulty forgiving someone, it would be helpful to
a. renounce the desire to punish the other person.
b. recall specific sins for which God has forgiven you.
c. ask God to help you do what you are incapable of doing yourself.
d. all of the above.

Chapter 11: Look Also to the Interests of Others (p. 225-246)

23. In the “Prepare” phase, the Johnsons decided that if the Smiths refused to do anything about the barking dog problem, the Johnsons would
a. work harder to get to know them.
b. consult an attorney.
c. file a complaint with the police department.
d. retaliate and make life difficult for them.

24. After several discussions, the Smiths finally decided upon the solution of moving Molly’s kennel to the other side of their house so Molly wouldn’t bark at people walking along the highway. How did the Johnsons persuade the Smiths to do this?
a. They brought in a skilled mediator from their church who offered several solutions.
b. They kept a journal of when Molly barked at people and they offered to help move the kennel.
c. They said that if a solution wasn’t found soon they would have to take legal action.
d. They assembled a group of neighbors who were also affected by Molly’s barking.

Chapter 12: Overcome Evil with Good (p. 247-257)

25. In terms of peacemaking, God defines success as
a. getting the other person to admit their wrongdoing.
b. not becoming discouraged with the peacemaking process.
c. doing what is right no matter what the outcome.
d. developing a passive approach to difficult people.